Before We Get Started

I’ve been holding back on launching my website for days now over one simple thing: authenticity. But is authenticity really a simple thing? Not at all. It’s the reason why I created this blog in the first place: because I wanted real women and girls to see the truth of our lives — the real, the messy, the imperfect parts — not a polished version of who we think we’re supposed to be.

So why haven’t I hit publish yet? It’s simple: I haven’t been able to find the perfect picture for my website. And when I say perfect, I don’t mean flawless skin and size-two bodies. I mean, I wanted a picture to represent what’s important to my daughter and me and what we want to represent in this blog — our faith, our relationship, our love for sweet tea and Southern culture.

After spending countless hours looking for the perfect picture and dreaming up the perfect backdrop, I decided to ask AI to create one: magnolias, sweet tea, perfect lighting, and a porch swing. Then I asked it to place my daughter and me on the porch swing, and it did — and it looked great. But something didn’t sit right with me, and I couldn’t quite shake it.

Then tonight it finally hit me: it’s not the use of AI. The way I used it is essentially like people have been using artificial backgrounds and green screens for years. It’s the fact that I don’t want to start this blog on the wrong footing with you. I want to come to you with full transparency and authenticity.

For years, I’ve compared myself to others. My eyelashes aren’t long enough. My waist isn’t small enough. My hair isn’t thick enough. Then when I do, I’m reminded of that episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air when Will is stuck in the basement with a girl, and she starts pulling off her wig, her eyelashes, and her fingernails. So much of what we compare ourselves to has been filtered, edited, carefully posed, professionally lit, or enhanced in ways we never see.

So yes, I use AI as a tool to create backgrounds and blog images, because let’s be honest: I’d never have time to write if I went around trying to recreate an image for every blog. But you’ll also see authenticity, transparency, real stories, real writing, and real photos throughout.

I don’t want you judging yourself based on my perfectly AI-created backdrops. I don’t want you comparing yourself to someone else’s perfectly posed, filtered, hair-extension photo you saw on Facebook.

And that’s why I’m telling you this before I ever hit publish. Not because I owe anyone an explanation, but because I want to be authentic. I want to be transparent. I want to be real with you from the very beginning.

And that’s the footing I want to start on — truth, grace, and a space where no one has to pose or pretend.

So if you’re here for authenticity, welcome. Pull up a chair, pour some sweet tea, and stay a while.